Since June, I have been working on a song called "Change." Yes, it has taken that long. I've been wandering in the desert and sifting through the sand, calling on the answers and at times trying to force the rain the fall. As I come closer to my truth (and to the recording date) the song is coming into crisp focus.
I have come to believe one of the most powerful thing we can do is tell our stories, speak our truth. I confess, I have rarely been good at telling my story. I built my life around hearing the stories of others as a counselor and telling the stories of others as an educator. Both career facets allowed me the boundary of mystery regarding my personal life. I recognize that luxury is shifting as I enter the world of entertainment.
Fortunately, I'm an excellent Changer.
And so I begin to tell the stories that I know.
I relate strongly to Platos' "Allegory of the Cave." I spent much of my life a slave with invisible chains made by my family, my religion, and enforced by my own mind. I lived 18 years of my life on a beautiful farm in Washington State, isolated from the world, with a view of the Canadian rocky mountains. We listened to conservative talk radio and got satellite TV just so we could watch the Catholic station- daily mass and rosary with the nuns, hallelujah and happy days! My parents were bullied in school and never felt they fit into world. They sought to save our souls and protect my brother and I by home schooling us with very conservative Catholic views. My life purpose was to be a saint. The motto of the Benedictines, the religious order to which my mother belongs, is Ora et Labora (pray and work.) We lived it.
I began to attend college when I turned 16, and graduated with my first degree and a slew of new life experiences at the age of 18. Just as my parents feared, a liberal arts education challenged and changed me. I walked away from my religion. With it went my songs, which had been used for praise and worship. My relationship with my parents, who had been my best friends, forever changed. I walked alone through several dark phases of life. College + Coming Out. The Early 20s + Career Building Vortex. I was very poor. I worked many challenging jobs (process server, domestic violence shelter, and an in-patient rehab facility for teens addicted to drugs.) My friends got me through. And as I changed, my friends changed. I eventually got my dream job and dream group of friends- a quirky group of young professionals who vacationed together and would occasionally don wigs and take over the town by bike gang. (I love you, BellingFam!)
18 months ago, I quit my job and left my best friends because I had to answer the call of Song. It sounds cheesy, but there is no other way to describe the magnetic draw I felt to uproot and move 2,333 miles across the country. Within 15 minutes of visiting Austin on a whim, I knew I had to move here and make music.
My parents don't understand my life and the choices I make. They fear change. I can understand why. Change is scary. Change entails letting go some pieces of identity that once seemed set in stone. The people who once fit us won't fit the same. Change requires the unraveling of some of the basic fabric of our daily existence. I've found the new clothes are worth it.
I get teary on a regular basis when I think about you- my friends, family, and fans. I feel so much love and support from you, and its helping me take this crazy huge step. I'm excited to share a little more of myself every day, to live with love, to be radically honest and different, to shine bright and speak out. I wish the same for you.
Let's live our truth.
Let's be rock stars right now.
Let's love our scars and cellulite.
Let's see god in each others eyes.
The light in me recognizes and loves the light in you.
Love your light, shine bright-
<3 NamasDaisy
Photography by the amazing Shawnee Kilgore
I have come to believe one of the most powerful thing we can do is tell our stories, speak our truth. I confess, I have rarely been good at telling my story. I built my life around hearing the stories of others as a counselor and telling the stories of others as an educator. Both career facets allowed me the boundary of mystery regarding my personal life. I recognize that luxury is shifting as I enter the world of entertainment.
Fortunately, I'm an excellent Changer.
And so I begin to tell the stories that I know.
I relate strongly to Platos' "Allegory of the Cave." I spent much of my life a slave with invisible chains made by my family, my religion, and enforced by my own mind. I lived 18 years of my life on a beautiful farm in Washington State, isolated from the world, with a view of the Canadian rocky mountains. We listened to conservative talk radio and got satellite TV just so we could watch the Catholic station- daily mass and rosary with the nuns, hallelujah and happy days! My parents were bullied in school and never felt they fit into world. They sought to save our souls and protect my brother and I by home schooling us with very conservative Catholic views. My life purpose was to be a saint. The motto of the Benedictines, the religious order to which my mother belongs, is Ora et Labora (pray and work.) We lived it.
I began to attend college when I turned 16, and graduated with my first degree and a slew of new life experiences at the age of 18. Just as my parents feared, a liberal arts education challenged and changed me. I walked away from my religion. With it went my songs, which had been used for praise and worship. My relationship with my parents, who had been my best friends, forever changed. I walked alone through several dark phases of life. College + Coming Out. The Early 20s + Career Building Vortex. I was very poor. I worked many challenging jobs (process server, domestic violence shelter, and an in-patient rehab facility for teens addicted to drugs.) My friends got me through. And as I changed, my friends changed. I eventually got my dream job and dream group of friends- a quirky group of young professionals who vacationed together and would occasionally don wigs and take over the town by bike gang. (I love you, BellingFam!)
18 months ago, I quit my job and left my best friends because I had to answer the call of Song. It sounds cheesy, but there is no other way to describe the magnetic draw I felt to uproot and move 2,333 miles across the country. Within 15 minutes of visiting Austin on a whim, I knew I had to move here and make music.
My parents don't understand my life and the choices I make. They fear change. I can understand why. Change is scary. Change entails letting go some pieces of identity that once seemed set in stone. The people who once fit us won't fit the same. Change requires the unraveling of some of the basic fabric of our daily existence. I've found the new clothes are worth it.
I get teary on a regular basis when I think about you- my friends, family, and fans. I feel so much love and support from you, and its helping me take this crazy huge step. I'm excited to share a little more of myself every day, to live with love, to be radically honest and different, to shine bright and speak out. I wish the same for you.
Let's live our truth.
Let's be rock stars right now.
Let's love our scars and cellulite.
Let's see god in each others eyes.
The light in me recognizes and loves the light in you.
Love your light, shine bright-
<3 NamasDaisy
Photography by the amazing Shawnee Kilgore